Degrassi, Season 5
by SheGoesThere
Summary: JEMMA. Come follow your favourite couple Jay & Emma into season 5 now. If they even are a couple now? And how will the new coming of Peter Stone be? And how is the rest of the gang? Read and find out.
1. VENUS PART 1

4 months pregnant.

And no, we're not talking about Manny, who decided to stay in Italy for a bit longer to raise her secret child.

And no, not talking about Ellie either, who already had the baby and was now taking care of it with Sean back at Degrassi.

This time, it was Emma.

It must of been the night of the break up during their... um... intimate time.

Ugh, Emma was so stupid.

She felt worse and worse every day and school was coming. Should she go? Should she drop out? It was just going to get worse.

And yes, ofcourse it was Jay's. And Jay knew... it was a long story.

Jay had actually ran after her to Europe, he missed the plane though so had to wait another few weeks for another trip.

When he found her, they were all lovey dovey... and they did something stupid.

Emma stood infront of her mirror, gazing at her stomach and put her hand on it. She couldn't believe there was a little baby in there.

But on Emma's hand... was a ring.

A diamond ring.

Emma took it off and chucked it at the wall.

She was stupid. She should of made Jay wear condoms, she shouldn't of ever married him either!

Yup.

Thanks Italy for the consent of letting her and Jay get married. The age law over there wasn't 18. If they got court consent and they were over 16, you were allowed to get married.

Unfortunately the court didn't see Jay breaking Emma's heart... but oh, he did.

Emma remembered the day like it was yesterday, everything was perfect until Jay caught her for the 3rd day having morning sickness.

That's when they knew she must of been pregnant.

He was in as much shock as she was... but she never expected him to do what he did next.

He left.

Came all the way to Italy for her and decided it wasn't worth it after she was pregnant, but OH it was OKAY to get married!

Snake and Spike would of never let Emma move back in if not for her insisting she'll file for divorce as soon as she finds him or found out how to get to him.

God, how could he just leave her like this?

Emma fell to the ground of her room on her butt and cried harder, she ran a hand through her hair and tried to breath.

So this is what heart break felt like.

Emma sniffed and tried to be strong, strong for her child. Well, not exactly hers... Caitlin had always wanted a baby, Spike had told Emma Caitlin couldn't have them though.

So... Emma was letting Caitlin adopt hers.

She couldn't keep a baby... not now. She was too young, she'll be 17 soon and she had to finish highschool.

Fuck.

She should of stayed in Italy with Manny.

"EMMA!" JT called, sitting beside Toby and his girl friend Liberty on the Degrassi schools lawn. Yup, lots have changed, Jt and Liberty were dating.

"Oh, Emma." Liberty said, seeing her baby bump. On a skinny girl like Emma? You could notice.

They were also sitting with someone Emma hasn't seen before though.

"Hey!" The guy greeted, and stood up. He was tallish, blonde hair, and actually good looking. Sort of preppy, which Emma wasn't too use to with her bad boy history.

"Hi.."

"I'm Peter. New guy." He said with a crooked smile.

Emma smiled a bit back, at least he wasn't judging her... state?

"How did it happen?" Liberty asked, "Is it Jay's?" she gave her a sympathy look

"Told you he wasn't good for you, Emma." Toby said.

"I got to go." Emma said, trying to hold back the tears and ran off. Peter dropped his mouth and watched her go. Liberty, Toby and Jt shared look.

"Never thought Emma would do this." Toby said.

"It happens sometimes, okay?" hissed Liberty in Emma's defense.

Peter eyed her. Maybe a little too offensive? He eyed Jt. . .nah... they couldn't be doing it. Peter shuddered. That was gross to imagine.

Emma was in school now and was careful, if he saw her crying- wait. Jay was older, he already graduted.

She bet he was long gone to probably Vegas or something by now, living it up.

Emma glanced in a class as she walked by to then stop in her tracks and back up.

Jay.


	2. VENUS PART 2

"What are you doing here?" Emma spat.

Jay looked up from the desk he sat on in the auto shop class.

When he looked at Emma it looked like he was hit by a ton of bricks, he swallowed hard and got up, going over.

"I'm working here now." He answered her, looking her over.

She looked healthy, good. She needed to be. She had longer hair, she had gotten tanner too. And she had that pregnant glow.

He was even more built now, and his hair had gotten a little darker. He was now a young adult, she still a teenager. God, he ruined her life, didn't he?

Emma squinted her eyes at him, was this real?

"As what?" she snickered, "Janitor?"

Jay looked down and said, "Emma, don't do this." He looked her in the eyes and asked, "How are you?"

She saw him glance at her stomach and fire shot through her. He had no right to ask!

Not after walking out like that.

"Great, now that you're out of my life, but now I guess not huh?" she taunted.

Jay sighed, "Emma, I'm not good for you, I told you this... and the whole marriage thing was screwed up, I shouldn't of forced you."

Emma laughed crossing her arms and asked, "Oh. It was forced? Did you force me to get pregnant too? Wow all these things you make me do and you don't go through with any of them?"

"you're still mad." Jay noticed and huffed. Couldn't she see he wasn't good for her?

He couldn't take care of her, or the baby... he was a loser. She needed a champion..

"I'll hate you for the rest of my life." Emma declared with sincerity in her voice and Jay felt something in him crack.

He watched her walk off until out of sight.

His teacher Tony came on over and saw Emma turn the corner, "She know your filling in for me now?" he asked Jay.

Yeah, Jay was now a 'teacher', filling in for Tony so he could build his auto shop.

"Sort of." Jay answered.

Tony shook his head and said, "Still can't believe you left her."

"I don't know what to do with me and her or myself for that matter. She doesn't want me right now, I'm messed up." Jay explained to him.

Tony raised an eyebrow and replied, "I'm sure she needs you when she has your baby in her stomach."

"Saw that huh?" Jay asked and he nodded.

"Don't be like your father Jayson."

This coming from his father figure, stung Jay.

"I'm not!" Jay hissed and calmed down to explain, "She's not keeping it, she's putting it up for adoption. Look at the mess I put her in? I'll help her through this but she doesn't need me in her life other than that. She's 17 in a few weeks and already married and knocked up. I fucked her up, just like everyone said I would."

Tony looked down and nodded, it did sound bad. But the two really looked like they would of made it?

"I'm sorry." With that, Tony gave him a pat on the back and left.

The bell rang and a bunch on 9ers came in.

Jay sighed going through attendance with them. Two years ago he was shoving these type of guys into lockers, now he was teaching them about cars?

When did it get like this?


	3. Death of a disco dancer

5 months pregnant now.

Emma walked with a glum look on her face, dragging her feet down the hallway.

She was REALLY showing now, enough to hold her stomach with her own hands at the bottom.

And yeah, everyone knew.

And she wanted the 'good girl' Emma Nelson anymore, but actually the new 'Manny Santo's. What? Was that the new insult now?

Manny was doing good, she had her baby, and still Sean didn't know. Jay nor Emma told, they didn't know how. Specailly with Ellie being back with another baby of his... that was just crazy.

Emma thought did find herself kind of lonely. Even Liberty wasn't around much, could be over the fight with Jt she had, Jt had told everyone they were doing it.

Big deal.

Get married and have a baby, that's something to worry about.

"Need help?" came a voice.

Emma blinked and looked up to see that new guy, Peter. Well, not so new. He actually fit into Degrassi perfectly and the girls loved him.

He had taken the books Emma was carrying into his own hands and smiled to her.

"you sure you wana be seen with the schools prego girl?" Emma joked.

"I've heard more than that about you." Peter smiled while walking with her and said, "How you saved some dolphins. Ran the biggest protests in Toronto schools. Have the highest grades! Survived in that shooting-"

"Let's not go there." Emma cut him off and he stopped walking.

"Sorry, last part probably wasn't a good thing." He added and nervously said, "Just trying to say your more than a prego girl to me."

Emma eyed him and replied, "You stare at me all the time, and this is the third time you've carried my books for me since we've met. What's with you?"

Peter smirked and shrugged, "I have a crush, sew me."

Emma took a deep breath. Shit.

"Won't work out. Sorry." She started walking again until he ran infront.

"We'll see." He added.

Emma rolled her eyes and said, "There's so many other girls Peter, and i've seen it, they want you! Go for it."

"But I want you."

"Why?"

Peter explained, "Cause you're real. Your real, and you're gorgeous. And...and... why does the auto student teacher always looking over here?"

Emma looked over her shoulder to see Jay working on a car in auto with it's front door wide open to see them across the hall.

Jay was turning something in the engine and kept glancing up now and then until he caught her eye.

"That's Jay." Emma sighed, her heart stopping and then feeling pulled.

Peter nodded, "So I hear, great with the cars, still friends with some of the students... but why does he always have to stare over here?" he questioned.

"It's not you, it's me." Emma confessed, looking down.

"Oh." Peter said and then looked between them, "Ohhhh." Ofcourse, the guy who did this to Emma had to be in Degrassi, right?

"Yeah."

He asked, "Is that who your married to too?"

"no, I just get knocked up my a guy and go marry a random for fun." Emma sarcastically said then exclaimed, "Wait, people know about that?"

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

"What does Degrassi not know?" Peter teased and she nodded, good point, "Go out with me Friday."

"No, Peter." Emma went to walk away when she saw Jay look back at her from in his class.

"Are you not over him?" Peter asked.

Emma's eyes shot to Peter and madness, "Yes, I am!"

No your not.

"Then you'll go." Peter smiled and Emma gave him a look and then saw Jay coming over.

Shit shit.

"fine." She confirmed and he nodded with a smile.

"See you there." He said happily and kissed her cheek quickly before leaving.

Emma went to leave until Jay grabbed her arm.

"Whose that?" Jay asked Emma, his eyes looked bewildered and slightly bothered.

"Don't touch me like that." Hissed Emma, grabbing her arm back.

Jay bittered, "I have a right to know who your associating with, with my kid in your belly." He confirmed.

"You lost that priveledge when you walked away!" Emma yelled.

"Walked away from you, not the baby!" Jay yelled back as reflex. Wait. No. That's not what he meant, he would never walk away from her, he **had** to. FOR her.

Emma's eyes stung with tears and she told him, "Everyone was so right about you." She fled off.

Jay shut his eyes and cursed the day he was born. If he wasn't some sort of teacher right now, he'd be crashing everything and damaging the lockers.

Did she think he wanted this?


	4. Foolin'

Almost 6 months pregnant now, and only hours from the Date she promised Peter.

"Em, I miss you." Manny said back on the phone to Emma from Italy.

"You don't know the half of it." Emma pouted and then asked, "How's Anthony?"

"He's good. Healthy little baby boy." She answered proudly.

"Manny, can I tell you something?" Emma asked slowly.

"Sure."

Emma paused and then confessed, "Ellie left last year because she was pregnant too."

Silence.

"What?..."

"...their raising the baby. His name is Joey Cook Cameron... but they call him Cook." Emma explained to her best friend

She needed to know.

"That's stupid." Manny said bluntly.

"The baby part or the name?"

"Both!" she yelled.

"Are you okay?"

"How is it?"

"I don't know. Ellie's done school and Sean dropped out." Emma said while rolling her eyes.

"I-I don't care. Tell me something else, please." Manny sounded like she was going to cry, Emma looked for a different subject.

"Jay's a teacher." She said

"A what?" Manny asked.

Emma laughed and said, "Like an assistant for auto shop, but he's completely taken over. Mr. Tony went to build his auto shop downtown so Jay took over for him."

"Asshole. He wouldn't just leave town to make it easier for you would he? Or at least get out of that school." Manny growled.

"Whatever, it's fine."

"It's not fine!"

"I met someone..."

"Someone as..."

"A boy..."

"Emma, you dog you! Don't get pregnant twice like me, okay?"

"I think i'll be getting my tubes tied after this, just to be sure."

"So Caitlins really going to be taking your baby?"

"Yes. I promised her, I can't do it Manny."

"It's not soo bad... but I understand." Manny paused and then snickered, "Jay's going to go nuts when he sees you with another guy."

"No he won't, he left me remember?"

"Did you file divorce yet?"

"Shit. I forgot!" exclaimed Emma, covering her mouth.

She looked to her night stand and saw the diamond ring on it and stared at it. She saddened.

She replied to Manny, "I'll do it next week."

"no matter what you think, he still loves you Emma. I do and don't get his choice." Manny declared.

"What do you mean, you do get it?" Emma asked in shock.

Manny took a breath and answered, "Emma, you do need someone better than Jay."

"I thought you were all for him? He almost died for me. I thought he loved me, and once upon a time he made me really happy." Emma was on the verge of tears.

Manny sighed, "Jay loving you is one thing, Jay Hogart raising a kid is another. He couldn't. And seeing that he's done this to you, maybe there's no such choice as being with you anymore because he might end up hurting you like this again... do you remember what you were like?"

"I know."

"Emma you didn't eat for days, and you pregnant. I had to pick you up myself from off the floor. You cried yourself to sleep everynight!"

"Manny, I know. I get it. Okay?" Emma yelled into the phone.

"I just worry is all." Manny said, "Be friends with him... but don't get wrapped into it again."

"I got to go... I have a date." Emma said.

"Good luck!"Manny exclaimed and they hung up.

Emma slowly walked down her porch wearing a loose red shirt that showed her baby bump and some fashionable tight ripped blue jeans. She had her hair natural, long and wavy.

"Hey." Peter greeted at the bottom of the steps.

"Hi." She greeted back.

"Flowers." He said, bringing his arm out from behind him, revealing roses.

"Classic." Emma said, raising an eyebrow.

"Mean." Peter noted with a smirk, guiding her to the door.

"Gotta be." Emma replied with a smirk.

"Door." Noted Peter.

"Going in." Emma said with a giggle, this was actually okay. Not too bad.

She watched Peter closely as he ran around to the other side of the car, maybe he wasn't so bad?

"Driving." Peter told her, starting the engine and they shared a smile.

"Where?" Emma finally asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

Her and Jay didn't really go on dates, just kinda ended up places, and parties, no-no thinking about Jay!

"I thought the movies would be a good ol fashion date." Peter joked.

"Fine." Emma said with a nod and snuck a glance at him, smiling.

As they got to the movies, Emma looked down when she felt his hand go into hers.

No.

She eyed it.

It didn't feel right.

They were waiting in line at the theatre when they heard their names, "Emma! Peter!"

Emma turned to see JT and Liberty.

"Oh god." Emma said, trying to hide around Peter until he laughed and pushed her back infront.

"I asked for a double date." He whispered to her and Emma glared at him.

"Why?" she then shut up as Jt and Liberty stood there and faked a smile, "Hi gu- gu... Liberty?" Emma paused.

Liberty was wearing a sundress, but she wasn't fooling anyone, a big bump was under it.

"Let's just say the new trend of Degrassi is getting pregnant." Jt joked.

"So I'm not alone..." Emma drifted, feeling a little better about... everything.

"ofcourse not." Liberty declared, hugging Emma.

Jt smiled and said, "Let's go get some popcorn."

Before Peter and Emma followed, she grabbed him back.

She looked around nervously not knowing how to say this...

"Thankyou for bringing me here... really. I needed to get out, and seeing Liberty made me feel a little better." She said honestly and Peter nodded.

"See? I'm not such a bad guy." He joked.

"Your okay." Emma said with a smile.

"Not _**him**_ though huh?" Peter asked carefully.

Emma eyed him and asked, "Who?" Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay.

"Don't say who, Jay. But I get it, and I can wait. Being with you is enough." Peter insisted and smiled softly before taking her hand and going to follow JT until Emma pulled him back.

He felt her lips on his and slowly kissed her back.

She pulled away and looked at him seriously, "Thankyou."


	5. Weddings, parties, anything

"_And do you, Emma, take thee Jay Hogart, as you lawful wedded husband?" the priest asked Emma._

_Emma wore a simple but beautiful short white dress that flowed down at her waist. Her hair was all tightly curled and she looked amazing._

_She laughed with her hand covering her mouth and Jay was trying not to crack up to but smiled widely at her._

"_I do." _

"_Kiss the bride."_

Emma woke up with a gasp and tried to catch her breath. She swallowed hard and closed her eyes, trying to shrug her dream off. It was the most vivid flashback she's ever had

Yeah. That was their wedding.

Jay shot up from his bed, having the same dream.

He looked beside him to tell Emma his crazy dream and then stopped. Oh. Right... it was real.

And they weren't together anymore.

Jay dug his face into his hands.

Emma walked into school that day and smiled a bit sadly when Peter saw her at his locker and headed on over.

They were dating for a few weeks now.

Everyone either thought they were cute or Emma was the worse slut ever.

Jay on the other hand, had nothing at all to say.

"Go meet your Uncle Jay." Jay heard Sean's voice and turned to see a little baby trying to walk over.

Jay snickered and went over as Sean picked him up and carried him over .

"This your brat?" Jay asked, checking the baby out. Had Ellie's green eyes, Sean's dimples.

"Sure is." Sean breaths with a smile, adoring Cook like no tomorrow.

Jay eyed him, he may be happy with Cook, but what about Ellie? And what about Manny?

He had to ask, "And everything with Ellie better now?"

"A happy family." Sean said emotionlessly, "How's Emma?" he taunted back knowing that would crawl into Jay's skin.

Jay rolled his eyes, he could take a hint. Alright, he'll shut up.

Sean huffed, "I'm a different kind of happy, Cook makes me happy." He declared and kissed the baby softly on the head.

His little baby boy.

Little did he know he had another named Anthony in Italy.

Jay sighed, this was too much for him, he had to sit down. Jay sat and put his head in his hands and then leaned back, taking a deep breath.

"Emma's dating someone." He finally revealed.

Sean frowned deeply, he knew how ruined Jay must feel right now.

"Thought that's what you wanted?" Sean challenged while rocking Cook back forth. Cook giggled, playing with his dad's tuke.

"Didn't think it'd be so hard." Jay said quietly.

Sean nodded and said, "She was your first real...anything, it's going to be hard."

Jay looked disgusted and said, "He's not the one I wanted her with, I wanted someone who could handle her, who needs to be protective of her, and-"

"Your just going to explain yourself now." Sean joked with a smirk but it was true.

Jay looked down and said, "I'd give anything to be with her."

"So suck it up Jay, you have a real job now, you could support her." Sean insisted.

"She's still in highschool, she's gotta go to college." Jay told him.

"What if she goes to college here?" Sean asked.

Jay snickered, Emma's dream was to go to New York for college.

"I can't do that, just add it to the _fucked your life up_ list." He said and declared, "She's better off without me."

Sean asked, "How do you know that? Where's the guy who yelled at me, insisting he deserved Emma Nelson."

Jay closed his eyes, yeah. Where did he go?

"She comes by once a week, to tell me how the baby is." He reached a photo on the desk and showed Sean, "Gave me this."

The picture of an ultra sound. It was a girl.

"Makes you think huh?" Sean asked softly.

"Really fucking does." Jay said with a loud sniff, Sean eyed him, was he trying to fight off tears?

"Can't turn back now." Sean reminded and questioned, "Wishing you kept it with her?"

"In another reality? Yes." Jay confessed.

You think he didn't day dream about a little family with Emma? Fighting the boys off from his little boys. Don't worry, he torched himself almost every minute of the day.

"It'll get better." Sean promised, "Ellie's going away, bringing Cook here to go meet his grandma. So I'm having a party so I can try to feel young again."

"Can't wait." Jay said sarcastically and eyed Cook.

God, how did Sean do it?

"Bring some girls." Sean called over his shoulder, walking out.

Jay laughed, "What would his mother think?" he nodded to Cook who was staring lovingly at his Daddy.

"Cook wouldn't tell. Would yeah?" Sean asked Cook who just smiled, not even knowing what he was saying.

Jay chuckled watching the little fam go.


	6. I Still Havent Found What I'm Lookin For

7 months pregnant now.

Two more months now.

Today? Her birthday.

Emma slowly walked to Jay's class, she hated these 'once a week' meetings.

"is that the part we use the wrench?" Emma listened to the grade 9's asking Jay questions.

Jay leaned on a desk pointing to kid who asked the question.

"Never." He said, some kids giggled, he then declared, "Use your hands."

Emma leaned her head tiredly on the door frame and watched him. He looked better without her. Wasn't it suppose to be the other way around?

"That's Emma." She heard a whisper and looked to a red headed boy whisper to another boy with glasses.

She pretended not to listen and quickly looked away.

The boy with the glasses asked, "Didn't knock her up?"

Emma rolled her eyes and stood straighter, crossing her arms over her big belly.

"no way! She's a senior." The red head insisted.

"He was a senior last year doofus!" exclaimed the kid with the glasses.

Jay heard the last bit and tilted his head in annoyance, "What are you idiots going on about back there?"

The red head giggled and said,"Girl friends here." And pointed to Emma.

Jay scratched the back of his neck over the 'girl friend' thing and stood up, "Go to your stations." He told the class and walked to Emma. "Hey." He softly greeted.

His heart started skipping, stop. It just made it harder.

"7 months now." Emma told him bluntly after coughing lightly.

"And how are you?" he asked.

"Good." She lied and asked, "Do I have to do this anymore? These check ups? It's almost ready, nothing can go wrong now if I'm careful... which I always am."

"I still want to know." Jay insisted and Emma gave him a 'what the hell' look.

WHY?

She replied, "Then you can come to me now."

"I can't." Jay called to her as she started walking down the hall.

She scoffed and turned to ask, "Why not?"

"Your always busy." He said and clenched his jaw, "Snake doesn't allow me in and your mom happily tells me your busy with Peter."

"Peter?" Emma repeated.

They never told her he came over

Peter was never at the house

Her parents were evil

"I practically know his whole life now. Peter, last name Stone. Age 17. Likes indie music and treats you SO good." Jay said sarcastically.

Emma just raised her eye brow at Jay and slowly turned to walk off.

She didn't need to explain anything to him anymore.

Jay stood there and bit the end of his tounge, slowly going back into class.

"You okay Mr Hogart?" asked the red head.

"How many times do I say call me Jay?" bittered Jay to then walk to his desk and fall grumpily into his seat.

"Your girl friends a hottie." The redheaded added.

"Yeah, she's in our top 5 of Degrassi hotties." Said the one with glasses.

"Get out!" Jay yelled and they blinked.

Everyone looked up and stared. Jay closed his eyes and rubbed his head.

"Class cancelled, go... run about." He said as calmly as he could and they all left. Jay sat there alone for hours.

"WELCOME TO MY PARTY!" Sean cheered, opening the door for Jay to his apartment.

Jay raised an eyebrow and said, "First rule about having your own party, don't greet people like that."

"I'm a father, i've lost my edge." Said Sean with a shrug.

"You sure have!" Spinner Mason exclaimed, coming around and giving both guys a beer.

Before Jay could sip his he saw Emma, over at the corner talking and laughing with that **boy**. Peter Stone.

Sean looked at what he was staring at and then noticed Jay twirling the gold ring on his wedding finger.

Wow. He still wore it? Did Emma see that?

"I had to invite her... we're still friends you know?" Sean tried to explain to Jay.

"It's fine." Jay said, looking away.

Spinner than snapped and ran off for a second. Jay and Sean talked for a bit until a few beers passed.

Emma kept sneaking glances at him too.

Spinner finally came back, much to Jay's relief because he blocked the sight of Emma who was receiving a quick kiss from Peter.

"Jay... this is Darcy." Spinner introduced a girl.

Darcy smiled eyeing Jay up and down, as if she didn't know who he was? Played mr nice teacher as school but bad boy at heart. Course she knew him.

"Hey there." She said seductively, twirling the straw in her cup.

Jay eyed Emma and Peter once more before looking back at Darcy closely and then greeted, "Hey." And that old evil smirk we know and love came crawling back.

Meanwhile Sean walked over to Emma,

"Where'd prince charming go?" Sean asked.

Emma turned and replied, "Get me a water... can't really drink." She pointed to her belly.

"Yet people are staring at you like you are." Sean joked, eyeing girls giving the dirty looks at Emma.

Emma snickered and said, "Actually I think their staring at my enormous belly. Pregnant and all."

"Is that what is is!" Sean freaked out as if he just found out and Emma smiled.

"Funny." She laughed.

He nodded and then aske,d "how are you? Barely see you anymore."

"Fine." She said with a shrug, "And thanks for trusting me to babysit Cook sometimes."

"Trust you more than anyone Em." Sean insisted.

"Helps me kind of get an in sight of what it's like." Emma then added, "Tiring." They shared a laugh.

Sean insisted again, "That's just Cook. Energy like his mom, mouth like his dad."

Emma saw that sparkle in Sean's eye when he said Cook's name. That was pure love.

Would he be that proud of Anthony? Manny's boy?

"How's um... Manny?" Sean slowly asked, moving his feet and staring down at them.

Speak of the devil!

"Didn't you hear? She stayed in Italy" Emma said, trying to keep it simple.

With your baby...

Sean nodded and said, "I noticed she was gone... no one told me. Is she coming back?"

"I don't know." Emma admitted.

"Oh." Sean looked actually disappointed, Emma eyed him, did he feel bad? Did he maybe have feelings for Manny we never knew about?

Then again, no one even asked him..

Emma got distracted when she glanced at Jay again, only this time seeing a girl rather close to him, giggling and being a slut probably. Darcy Edwards.

"Whose that?" Emma tried to hide the jealousy in her voice.

Sean just shut his mouth and shrugged, he did not want to be part of this.

Emma frowned, she saw Jay smirking and everything. He wasn't suppose to be happy... this wasn't suppose to be happening. OH god, can't breath-

"Here's your water." Peter said, coming back with her drink.

Thank god! Emma gulped it and tried to catch her breath.

"You okay?" Sean asked, putting a hand on her back.

Emma grabbed Peter's hand saying, "Let's go." With that, she pulled him out of the apartment.

Sean huffed looking at Jay, who was watching Emma leave at the corner of his eye until giving Darcy back his fake attention.

"You wana get outta here?" Darcy asked Jay, batting her eyelashes.

_**I think you can do much better than me  
>After all the lies that I made you believe<br>Guilt kicks in and I start to see  
>The edge of the bed<br>Where your nightgown used to be  
>I told myself I won't miss you<br>But I remember  
>What it feels like beside you<br>I really miss your hair in my face  
>And the way your innocence tastes<br>And I think you should know this  
>You deserve much better than me<br>**_

A hour later...

She didn't feel like Emma.

Nor tasted like her.

Nor kissed like she could.

But it was what he could handle right now. Any other girl he'd feel too pushed.

This one was all slutty but pretended to be innocent. The only real righteous girl Jay knew was Emma, no matter what the bitches in school said about her.

Darcy sat on his lap in his car, kissing him deeply and all he did was put his hands on her thighs when she pushed him away softly.

"Oh no, I don't do that. Sex." Darcy confirmed when he gave her a confused look.

Jay coughed lightly, he didn't hint toward sex?

Darcy explained proudly, "I'm waiting."

Jay snickered, Darcy would be that girl who told everyone she was waiting, and then she'd get it on with someone on a party night or something. She said it to look good, she didn't fully mean it.

Not like Jay cared though.

This was just a rebound, a girl he could pretend was on his side so people left him alone about Emma and so Emma could move on with her life with... Peter.

_**While looking through your old box of notes  
>I found those pictures I took<br>That you were looking for  
>If there's one memory I don't want to lose<br>That time at the mall  
>You and me in the dressing room<br>I told myself I won't miss you  
>But I remember<br>What it feels like beside you  
>I really miss your hair in my face<br>And the way your innocence tastes  
>And I think you should know this<br>You deserve much better than me**_

"I do like you though... and I have no problem making out with you. Yet, that's every girls thoughts in Degrassi." She teased.

Jay rolled his eyes and just shut her up with her kiss until she pulled away.

A-fucking-gain.

"You owe me a date though." Pointed Darcy.

"fine." With that he shut her up again.

Fake dating Darcy wouldn't be too bad, he couldn't picture being with another girl like _**that**_ other than Emma.

I know, a guy saying he didn't want sex right now? Amazing. He knows! _****_

_**The bed I'm lying in is getting colder  
>Wish I never would've said it's over<br>And I can't pretend... I won't think about you when I'm older  
>Cause we never really had our closure<br>This can't be the end  
>I really miss your hair in my face<br>And the way your innocence tastes  
>And I think you should know this<br>You deserve much better than me  
>I really miss your hair in my face<br>And the way your innocence tastes  
>And I think you should know this<br>You deserve much better than me  
>(And I think you should know this)<br>(You deserve much better than me)**_

_**BETTER THAN ME-HINDER**_


	7. TURNED OUT part 1

The door knocked and Emma ran to it, swinging the door open.

"Just do me a favour and don't tell anyone I'm here." Manny told her.

"MANNY!" Emma jumped in her friends arms.

Manny hugged her tighter and joked, "Any faster and you would of shot me to the curb." Emma pulled away and Manny added, "Emma you've gotten so big!"

She put her hand on her stomach and felt a kick.

"Oh my god!"

"Yeah." Emma smiled lightly, "She does that."

"It's a she?" Manny said, her eyes tearing up.

"Yeah..." Emma softly answered and then Manny gasped.

"Well, I brought a suprize." She said running to her car, Wow. Manny drove now!

Interesting

She smiled taking something out and a little baby cradled in her arms, "Little Tony." She held out her baby for Emma.

"Hey baby boyyyy." Emma said happily, taking Anthony in her arms, "He's beautiful Manny!"

"So... how are things?" Manny asked, now inside and on the couch with her.

Emma shrugged, "good."

"And the new boy? How long has that been?" Manny said with a smirk and Emma rolled her eyes.

"2 and half months now?" Emma guessed. Who knew.

"Wow. Go you."

Emma eyed Manny who tapped her fingers on the couch and scoffed, she was waiting for it...

"Ask me or forever hold your peace." Emma taunted

"How's the Jay situation?" Manny blurted, holding that in for what seemed forever.

Emma looked away and replied bluntly, "Jay's dating Darcy Edwards now."

"The bible thumper?" Manny explained, giving and outrageous look.

Emma snickered, "The slutty bible thumper whose dated Spinner, Sav and some other guys already this year and now? Jay." Emma added, "Knowing Jay's ways he probably already got her virginity."

"Probably..." drifted Manny to then ask, "When do I get to meet this Peter?"

"Right now." Emma smiled seeing Peter jogging up her driveway.

Meanwhile at Jay's...

Jay sat up in bed and rubbed his tired face. He stared a head and just looked...life less.

Darcy came up from behind and wrapped her arms around his neck, "Let's go make breakfast together."

She kissed around his shoulder blades until he got up.

"No." He put on his jeans and such.

No they didn't have sex yet, just the casual make outs, removal of clothing and maybe something more for Jay...

"Well can I atleast have some food?"Darcy said in annoyance and breathed, "I'm starving."

"Bagel or toast?" Jay asked, exiting the bedroom and into the kitchen. She huffed and got up from the bed to go follow.

"Toast please." She said happily, skipping over to him.

She wrapped her arms around his waist as he popped in some toast and he flinched.

A flash of Emma laughing at him ran through his head, when he had tried to make them dinner and he burned everything.

Jay shrugged out and gave her a plate, "Here."

Darcy was eating her toast beside him on his couch as he watched Tv. He knew she was watching him, she always did. It was sort of annoying.

"Shouldn't you like... take that ring off?" she finally spoke.

Jay kept his eyes on the tv, but then slowly looked down to his ring and scanned it, softening.

He then hardened and looked at Darcy.

"Why?"

Darcy rolled her eyes, "Cause your not married anymore, your not with Emma anymore." She crawled on him and said, "Your with me."

She went to kiss him but he interrupted, "We're still married though."

Darcy eyed him, was he fighting on this or making a statement?

"Doesn't mean you have to wear that ring when the relationship is over, Jay." She explained and went to kiss him again.

She yelped when he tossed her softly back beside him and shoved the plate of toast into her hands.

"If you wanted breakfast so bad, why aren't you eating it?" he taunted and got up to go get ready.

Darcy glared at her toast.

"Sup man." Towerz greeted Jay as he came into Degrassi, Darcy sneakily slipped her hand into his and Jay sighed.

Whatever.

"Hey 'Mr Hogart', how are you?" Amy asked, teasing the fact he was a 'teacher' now.

Jay just smirked and shook his head, but Darcy's eyes shot daggers at Amy.

"I'll see you after class at lunch." Darcy told him, kissing his cheek as he opened his locker and left.

Towerz followed him over and joked, "I see our one and only Hogart is back."

Jay just nodded at Towerz and Towerz leaned in closer.

"You by chance interested in this again?" Towerz showed a bag of weed and Jay looked down at it.

He shrugged, "Why not." And followed Towerz out the doors.

"Manny?" Emma had phoned Manny from her locker and the girl finally picked up.

Probably just busy with Tony..

"Hey, what's up?" she asked.

Emma explained, "I forgot my math book, could please bring it? I'm already behind with all the missed classes because of being...well, pregnant and all."

"I don't know Emma, what if I bumped into Sean?" Manny slowly asked.

"He dropped out remember? Your clear." Laughed Emma

"Alright." Manny said, "Be there soon."

With that, the girls hung up.

Jay had finally come back and was walking toward his class that he was late for. Probably was the worse teacher, ever.

He then bumped into _her._

Emma stumbled a bit but Jay caught her instantly, as soon as he knew it was her his mind came clear.

"ow.." Emma snapped, holding her big tummy.

Jay swallowed, wow. She was getting... big. It must be 8 months now?

So soon...

"Sorry." Jay replied and slowly took his hands off her. God he missed her warmth, "Are you okay?"

"Fine." Emma glared up at him to then eye him and snicker, "Stoned much?"

Jay clenched his jaw, his eyes must be hazy or red.

"Does it matter?" he asked her. Did she even care about him anymore?

Her and Peter the new 'it' Degrassi couple, just the _cutest_ little things. Jay puked inside his mouth.

"I couldn't care less anymore." Emma shot back and waved him off, "Be on your way, go teach your students how to knock girls up and roll joints."

Jay's eyes glared down, yup, he was just a solid loser to her again.

He replied back, "Got it, **Greenpeace**." With that he started walking off leaving Emma standing there with her mouth dropped.

He hadn't called her that since...

She fought the tears and slowly walked off. It was done. They were really done. Once she rounded a corner where he couldn't see her anymore, she bursted into tears.

It was so much pain. She couldn't even breath, but it wasn't like the other times, she swore she was having a panic attack.

SMACK.

Emma gasped loudly, oh my god.

Her water just broke.

No, no, no. It was only the 8th month! There was one more month!

"Emma?" JT had come out of his class to go to the washroom when he saw her and started running.

Emma started crying, "it-it's too early, Jt." She cried.

Meanwhile, in Jay's auto shop.

"Mr Hogart?" That annoying red head came to bother him at his desk.

He was swaying in his chair and looked up, giving him a look.

The red head took the hint and corrected himself, "Jay!"

"What?" Jay asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Are we doing anything in class today?" he asked.

Jay looked around at the students who just sat in their desks, staring ahead, at him, blankly.

Jay coughed and sat up, "Um. Yeah. Go pump a... tire." He instructed.

Sean slowly entered the room and looked around.

"Ooooh kay." The red head said, slowly backing up and just left. The students did whatever they wanted. They noticed their teacher didn't really care.

"Very nice. I don't know if they know what hit them." Sean taunted Jay.

"Cameron." Jay said, "What are you doing here?"

"Just visiting my boy at work." He joked and asked, "Workin hard?"

"Hardly workin." Jay taunted, leaning back in his seat again.

"Seems so." Sean admitted, looking around. Wow. Jay was completely giving up, before he was so good, actually acting better... but that was when with Emma.

He seemed to be going back into old Jay.

Sean looked around again to then notice a familiar brunette pass the hallway in a rush.

"Manny?" he said out loud.

It was her.

It looked like her, and he knew her every curve, every feature.

It was her.

"Manny!" he called, and ran after.

Sean finally caught up and grabbed her hand. Manny was turned and then stared into the eyes of her baby's father.

"Sean." She said.

He stared in awe and then blinked a few times, "What-what are you doing here?"

"I can't talk. Emma's in labour." Manny said and went to turn until he grabbed her again.

"Manny, please. Talk to me." He begged with so much sorrow in her eyes and she softened.

She grabbed his hand back and pulled him, "Come on."

They ran to the front of Degrassi where a bunch of the kids from Darcy's bible group stood.

Emma was being put on a stretcher as some girl yelled, "Your going to hell!"

"SLUT!"

JT held Emma's hand and said, "Don't listen to them."

"We're ready." The paramedic told the other, ready to pull Emma out until Darcy blocked them and came over.

Sean and Manny gave another looks and went over.

"Your no longer innocent, just dried up youth." Darcy told Emma.

Emma cried out, not because of stupid Darcy, but she was in pain! She needed to go to the hospital!

"Take a bible to the hospital." Darcy said, handing out a bible and waited for Emma to take it.

Manny walked ahead of Sean and said, "Hey Darcy?"

"What?" Darcy asked as she turned and Manny took the bible out of her hands and hit her across the head with it.

_**WHAM!**_

"Way to go, Manny." Jt said with a laugh.

Sean couldn't help but laugh too as Darcy cried out and then erg'd! Stomping off.

"Knew we missed you for a reason." Sean teased Manny.

"Emma!" came another shout and Peter came running.

"Is this all whose coming Miss? We got to get you to the hospital." The paramedic said.

"I..." Emma panicked, she didn't know if she should be bringing Peter.

"I'm coming." Peter insisted, staring right at her.

She breathed harder, she couldn't do this right now.

"Yeah. This is it." Emma looked to Manny and said, "Call Caitlin! Tell her to meet us at the hospital!"


	8. TURNED OUT part 2

"Are you sure your ready to let her go?" Caitlin whispered to Emma.

It was okay.

The baby was more than healthy, sometimes these things just happened.

Emma pushed for hours and hours, and finally gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.

Caitlin gave Emma the priveledge to at least name her.

You didn't see it, but Emma had actually grown attached to the baby. It was hard not to, when they were growing inside you.

And she talked to it, told her she loved her with every part of her but she couldn't give her the life she needed right now.

Cassie.

It was perfect.

She had also kicked for the first time when Emma said the name out loud.

"I have to be ready." Emma said, her voice cracking a bit.

Emma looked worn out. Well hello? She just pushed out her child. But adding sadness onto her, she just looked like hell.

Caitlin came in with the tiny baby in her arms and a pink blanket around her, "you want to hold her?"

Emma looked away.

She couldn't look at her. If she did, she's memorize her face, her nose, her lips. She'd see what part's of her she had, and what parts looked like Jay.

"No!"

"Emma?" Manny whispered, standing a far with Snake and Spike. Emma might regret this forever?

Seeing your baby gave you a... a joy you couldn't ever explain.

"If I hold her..." drifted Emma, closing her eyes for a second as a tear trickled down, "I won't be able to let her go."

She finally looked at Caitlin and Caitlin nodded slowly, understanding.

"Alright." She whispered.

Caitlin went to turn to leave as Spike spoke up, "What about Jay?"

"Since when do you care about Jay? Huh mom?" Emma taunted, sneering at Snake next,"What about you Snake?"

Never

So why the hell were they asking?

"Em..." Snake drifted, a bit upset in himself too. He shouldn't of been so hard on her, she did this. This, was a beautiful thing.

"Who cares. Just... just go." Emma told Caitlin who opened her mouth, but then shut it and slowly walked off with the baby girl in her hands.

Back at school the next day, Towerz had found Jay at the end of class again.

"You leavin' Mr Hogart?" Towerz taunted jokingly and Jay looked up.

He had to stop getting high so much lately.

"I am so burnt out it's not even funny." Jay joked and Towerz laughed, slapping hands with him and nodding.

"You up for another one?" Towerz asked to then notice someone coming, "Maybe later..." with that, he turned and walked off fast.

Jay gave a look and then turned to see a blonde woman. Jay had seen her once, from a picture Emma had shown him when explaining who she was going to give their baby to.

And there the woman stood, proudly holding a baby.

"Your daughter would be so disappointed in you, Jay." Caitlin said, shaking her head, eyeing where Towerz just left.

"I..." Jay felt so ashamed and couldn't stop staring at the baby in her arms.

That wasn't... it couldn't be.

"Yes. It's her." Caitlin answered his questions in his head and stepped closer.

"Emma didn't... I didn't know." He said after being in pure shock, still kinda was. He stared almost fearfully at the baby in the pink baby.

His heart started to pound.

"She didn't want you to. I signed all the papers, she's under my name now, and we're moving to Arizona. You don't have to worry." She said, raising an eyebrow.

Jay looked away and bittered, "That was never it." He snuck another glance at the baby. His heart dropped and his throat closed in.

"Her names Cassie." Caitlin said softly.

That's when Jay finally cracked. He leaned on the locker and slid down half way, head in his hands and crying like a little fucking baby.

"It'll be okay..." shushed Caitlin, bending slowly so to be in care of the baby.

She reached her hand out and put a hand on Jay's shoulders.

Jay finally whipped his eyes roughly and sniffed hard, standing up again and she did too.

"Please love her." Jay said, not being able to look at the baby again, "Alot. Please?" he turned to only look Caitlin in the eye.

"Ofcourse I will. Like she's my own." Caitlin insisted.

"She needs.. she needs..." he tried to breath before he broke down again.

Caitlin stepped even closer and promised, "I'll love her. I'll love her more than I ever loved her or anyone. I'll raise her right. I'll let her know who her mom and Dad are. I'll treat her like a princess, and remind her every day how much her Daddy loved her."

Jay had tears coming down like no tomorrow, but his face looked hard and still.

Caitlin nodded slowly and turned around, walking down the hall with Cassie.

"Emma?" Jay finally spoke up, needing to know how she was.

Caitlin looked over her shoulder and said, "She's okay. Still at the hospital."

Jay nodded and looked back down again.

And Caitlin was gone.

Cassie was gone.


	9. TELL IT TO MY HEART

_Emma's point of view:_

_It's been weeks since having her, Cassie..._

_I want to tell her I miss her but I can't, she wouldn't hear me anymore._

_She was Caitlin's now. _

_But, even though I couldn't speak to my tummy anymore, Manny insisted I could tell it to my heart._

_Well, heart?_

_All you do it hurt me. And I'm sick of it!_

_I can't cry anymore, I feel emotion less now and I don't give a damn about anything anymore. I'm a robot. _

_And Jay?_

_The reason to my crying..._

_There was going to be no more of that. _

_This was it, they were done. She gets it now, he doesn't want her anymore. _

_Sure ok, she knows he'll always be a part of her, but she knew it was sick to just hold on this long._

_It's almost been a year, and tonight? _

_With being healed up from the birth and finally almost back to her natural weight, she was ready to give herself to Peter._

_On birth control ofcourse... _

_She'll try to fall for Peter as hard as she could._


	10. REDEMPTION SONG

_JAYS POINT OF VIEW:_

_After seeing Cassie, I couldn't sleep for days._

_She was beautiful, just like Emma._

_I wondered if Emma saw that?_

_I've been staring at my ring for what seems hours now. And now I'm looking back to a passed out Darcy in my bed. _

_What am I doing?_

_What the __**hell**__ am I doing?_

_Emma loved me, me, JAY HOGART, once upon a time and I let go of that? Because I felt she deserved better?_

_I promised to give her everything and if she wanted me, why the hell would I question that?_

_Why did it take me this long to get that?_

_It's selfish, but I can't stand back and watch the 'better man' take my girl from me. _

_I had to tell Emma I still loved her._

_I had to tell Emma we did right, in giving Cassie to Caitlin, she'd be happy. _

_**We **__could be happy._

_I grabbed my keys and walked out of the bedroom, grabbed my jacket and went out the door._

_It was pouring rain and lightening, but I didn't care, nothing would stop me now. _

_I hopped into my orange civic and raced towards Emma._

_My heart I swear was coming out of my throat, I finally felt a weight off my shoulders, I didn't have to pretend anymore, I could finally have Emma in my arms again._

_If it wasn't suppose to be this way, why did it feel good that they had Cassie?_

_I feel like we did something right, I don't feel like I destroyed Emma's life anymore. And hopefully, she didn't think I did either._

_My head was pounding, so many apology speeches in my head racing around. _

_I finally reached Emma's._

_I knew her parents hated me so I parked down the street and ran through the rain to the side of her house._

_I was drenched, I've been here before like this though, she wouldn't mind._

_Unless she was busy? _

NO ONE'S POINT OF VIEW:

She was busy.

Jay stood near her window to the basement and saw her pass it. Her curvy figure showed off, wearing a pretty silk green string top and black shorts.

She tossed her hair to the right side and then got onto her bed.

But something was on her bed too.

Peter.

She crawled on top of him and he lifted his head, kissing her deeply.

Jay, in the pouring rain in the night, looked away. He looked like a lost, broken puppy.

His heart felt like it was shattering.

It was his fault for thinking she'd take him back anyways, what he did to her was... was... un forgiving.

Jay swallowed hard and slowly backed up to then turn and walk back into the night, rain pouring on him.

_I love you, Emma._

Jay got into his orange civic, all wet.

He took in a deep, long, shaky breath, and then started the car.

He took one last look at Emma's house and then quietly led the car out and down the street.


	11. The Lexicon of Love PART 1

JAY'S POINT OF VIEW:

So this is what it's like to hit rock bottom?

Out with your friends, trying to get your mind off the girl your love... and you end up playing with your wedding ring all night.

Jay wondered, did Emma still have hers?

Did she look at it as much as he did?

People saw Jay's hard side, but if they knew or saw the way he was with Emma... he was so weak and powerless.

Spin and Sean were trying their best to help Jay too... and they figured, why not try the strip club?

Wasn't working.

Specailly when one of the strippers were Alex.

"Come for a show?" Alex taunted, coming over to their table.

Jay clenched his jaw and downed his beer from his bottle.

Sean and Spinner shared a wierd look and eyed Alex. They never really... pictured her here.

Alex looked to Jay, "Cause you should know I'd give you a free one, anytime..." she smirked.


	12. The Lexicon of Love PART 2

Alex whimpered as Jay moved harder and harder into her, from behind.

She held onto the sheets harder and grinded her teeth together.

Before, a very long time ago, when they had sex... they were rough, but not this rough.

But Alex shrugged it off, it was just different now, but still meant to be! She swore it.

"Uh!" she cried out, he pounded her from behind and she shut her eyes tight, it felt so good but she wanted to cry out every hit he made.

Finally, it was done and she bit her lower lip and tiredly collapsed on her tummy to then smile tiredly and roll over to lay beside him.

She played her fingers tips over his chest and said, "Guess it went back to how it's suppose to be huh?"

Silence.

"Yeah." Jay finally answered and removed her hand off of him.

But she was use to that, he never liked cuddling. He wasn't a cuddling type of person.

_FLASHBACK._

_Jay smirked, holding Emma closely to him on the bed as she slept soundingly._

Jay looked off and then reached into his drawer, pulling out a pack of smokes and his liter.

Guess there wasn't a reason quit anymore, was there?

Alex snuggled into his blankets and watched him admirely as he lit a cigarette and inhaled it deeply, closing his eyes.

God, he was so gorgeous.

That next day of Degrassi, Alex, since she had failed a grade and still went to Degrassi, came into school with him, holding hands.

Emma had finally come back and was ready to catch up on everything since the birth of Cassie.

As she was in class, she noticed a couple walk by.

Everyone did.

"Hell just froze over." Toby said outloud and shut up when the teacher gave him a wierd look.

Alex and Jay?

Emma felt numb. This is what happened when you endeared so much pain, I guess. It was probably for the better, feeling like a robot... or she would of probably cracked into tears right there.

She was beginning to like this numb feeling she was having.

Guess things really had turned back to normal. Emma back in class, getting her grades up, not prego... and the bitch, Alex with the bad boy again, Jay.

Mhm... this is how it was suppose to be.

Right?

...

_**I swore, I swore I would be true  
>And honey so did you<br>So why you were you holding her hand  
>Is that the way we stand<br>Were you lying all the time  
>Was it just a game to you<strong>_

_**But I'm in so deep, you know I'm such a fool for you  
>You got me wrapped around your finger<br>Do you have to let it linger  
>Do you have to, do you have to<br>Do you have to let it linger**_

_**Oh, I thought the world of you  
>I thought nothing could go wrong<br>But I was wrong, I was wrong**_


	13. Together Forever

Manny had stayed for more than a few weeks, and Emma was shocked her and Sean had snuck a few late night dinners behind Ellie's back.

It was innocent, but Emma knew something was with Sean. Was he possibly in love with Manny?

Shockingly, again, Sean still haven't found out about his other son, Tony.

And now Emma guessed he never would with Manny packing to go back to Italy now.

Manny wanted to wait until Liberty had her baby too. She was beautiful as well by the way, and the people who adopted her named her Michelle.

Liberty was a wreck as well, but she knew it was the right thing, she was Happy... but Emma wasn't. She couldn't find that 'happy' place.

"Manny, don't go." Emma cried, giving Tony to Manny before she got in her car to leave.

Manny fought back tears and hugged her best friend, "Emma, I don't belong here right now, and Tony doesn't deserve to be hidden." She said, "We have to go back home."

Emma tried hard to keep whipping her tears, she didn't mean to look so weak.

"Your all I have." Emma finally cracked out.

Manny had tucked Tony back in his car seat and then turned, giving Emma another tight hug, only longer now.

"You are my best friend, Emma Nelson. And we'll always be, forever." Manny confirms.

"Come back?" Emma asked hopefully.

Manny nodded, "Ofcourse." She opened her driver door and got in.

She gave Emma one more look and sadly smiled, waving.

Emma sniffed and crossed her arms, backing up as she watched the car back out... and go.

Everybody leaves...

Emma looked down and went back inside.


	14. I AGAINST I

"That... was really good Emma." Darcy spied a bit on the blonde in the gym.

Emma had stayed a bit longer after school to exercise, hey she just had baby?

She did a few flips and twirls and then started to stretch her legs when she heard Darcy.

"What the hell do you want?" Emma asked, straightening up and crossed her arms.

Darcy took a deep breath and said, "Look. I'm sorry... if it means anything I know what it's like to get my heart broken by Jay Hogart too."

"You wouldn't know the half of it Darcy." Snapped Emma, turning around to leave.

"Wait." Darcy called out desperately, "Just... try out for cheerleading... you know you were meant for it before he came into your life."

Emma bit her tongue, old Emma wanted it so bad, yes, she remembered.

"Maybe." Emma confirmed and Darcy smiled slowly.

Emma just nodded and left the gym. She then saw Alex and Jay about to leave the doors before he stopped in his tracks, seeing her.

"Come on baby." Alex pulled on him and he let go.

"Hold on."

Emma sucked in her breath and just walked to her locker, but saw him coming towards her.

"How are you?" he asked lightly as she grabbed her stuff.

"Fine." She confirms.

Jay looked back at Alex who crossed her arms and gave him a look. He looked nervously at Emma, almost like a puppy who did something bad and knew he did.

He eyed her and asked again, "just fine?"

"Yeah Jay, just fine." She huffs, shooting him a glare.

"I'm sorry, just... after Cassie and everything-"

Emma cut Jay off with a slam of her locker, and said, "This point forward? We don't mention Cassie ever again, Jay. Ok?"

Jay stared right back into her eyes and clenched his jaw, "Fine." He then said, "There's nothing else for us to really say to another then."

Emma was a bit taken back but gave a shrug as if she didn't care, "Guess not." She said and nodded towards Alex, "Go have fun now."

How could she not care? Jay wanted to hit the wall but instead he stood emotionless and his blood boiled.

He bit back, "Later, Greenpeace." And stalked off.

Emma stood there with her mouth hanging a bit. He called her Greenpeace... that's when you know this may be truly over.

"You alright, baby?" came a voice and she looked behind her.

Just when Jay was about to leave with Alex he gave one last look at Emma... with Peter. He madly left out the door.

"Mhm." Emma said, hearing the door slam and just replied to Peter, "Just trying to get use to how things were really suppose to be. I need to do one more stop."

Darcy was still in the gym as Emma slowly came back in.

If Jay was moving on? She will too!

"Darcy?"

The girl turned and greeted, "Hey Emma."

"I'll join." Emma confirmed and she smiled wide, handing out a blue uniform.

"Here's your cheerleading out fit." Darcy said happily

"Thanks..."


	15. Our Lips are sealed PART 1

"Emma? What do you think?" Spike asked her daughter as the dinner table.

Emma just played with her food and then felt eyes on her, Spike and Snake staring.

"Huh?"

Snake helped out, "About the new fridge." He pointed at it.

"Cool." Emma shrugged.

Who cared?

"Well I got to go back to school." Snake said after some awkward silence and stood up.

Spike gave a look and added, "Archie, it's almost 9. What do you have to go back for?"

"I forgot my papers, I have to go grade them before midterms come out!" he called over his shoulder as he grabbed his coat off the rack and left.

"Fine." Spike muttered and Emma looked up and curiously at her, then at the door Snake left in. "You alright?" Spike asked Emma.

Emma looked back at her and asked, "Mhm, why?"

"You just seem... quiet lately."

"I'm fine."

Later that night Emma walked down her room with Peter. They were hanging out when he sat on her bed beside her.

"I got you something." Peter said, digging into his pocket.

Emma gave a look until he got out a red little box, and opened to a ring with a little diamond in the middle of it.

Emma swallowed hard and glanced at her wedding ring on the night table. It was more her, rather than Peter's. It was gold with a pearl in the middle and two diamonds on the side of it.

"You like it?" Peter asked and Emma looked back at his.

"Love it." She simply stated, putting it on, "Thank you." She gave him a quick kiss.

"Now you can throw out that stupid ol' ring." Peter smiled after and Emma smiled weakly.

"Yeah."

Meanwhile, a certain someone was back at the famous ol ravine getting back into his bad habits.

Jay sniffed heavily and held his head as he leaned back in his seat that was place around a bon fire with his friends.

Aaron leaned down to his line on his CD case and snorted some cocain too.

Jay felt it hit him and thanked the feeling it gave him. Numbness.

"Come on Jay, you can do another." Aaron joked, passing him the hard CD case with a line on it.

Jay shook his head no, he actually couldn't. He already did about 2 and a half lines.

Alex came over and sat on his lap. His eyes were becoming a bit blurry now.

"Come on, I'll take you home." Alex whispered to him in his ear and bit it playfully.

"No no. We have plans, and no girls allowed." Taunted Skinny, sitting beside Aaron who nodded.

Alex rolled her eyes, "Shut it morons, you want me here right babe?" she asked Jay.

"If they said no, I'm sure they mean no. **Lexy**."

Before when they were dating he said her nickname so playfully, but now it was just full of hatred. Alex gave a look before stomping off and the guys laughing after her.

"Here." Skinny gave Jay a beer.

Jay opened it and jugged it down.

Emma was her house in her room that night and it was late, she was about to go to bed but something was bugging her.

She held her wedding ring and stood over her garbage.

She took a deep breath and- "Emma!" Spike called.

Emma looked over her shoulder, "cominggg." She went upstairs.


	16. Our Lips are sealed PART 2

"Jay?" one of the 9ners, Derek asked, "Are you okay?"

"I'm going to puke." Jay muttered, in his teacher's desk with his head on the table and groaning every minute.

"Someone get his girl friend." A kid said, watching Jay dive for the trash can, shaking.

"No!" Danny said, he was Liberty's little brother, he knew who Jay really needed, "Get Emma."

Derek ran out and went around the hall for a few minutes until he saw Emma walking around with Toby and ran to her, stopping abruptly in front.

"Hi." Emma said giving the little guy a wierd look.

He slowly explained, "Jay's not so... well right now."

"I'd say." Toby said with a snicker and Emma just passed him a soft smile.

"I'm pretty sure he's overdosing..." drifted Derek and Emma's eyes snapped back to him, a bit of worry flashing in them.

"Jay?"

Emma walked into the class that the 9ers were slowly leaving out of.

He sat there leaning over the trashcan and shaking on his chair.

He looked up when her heard her voice.

"Em?"

Emma huffed, he was messed up. Bad.

"Come on, get up." She went to help him and put her arms around his one.

"Hurts." Jay complained and she dug for her phone.

"I'll call the hospital."

"No." Jay explained, grabbing her hand and said desperately, "Don't do that."

"Fine. We can go to your house-"

"Sean's there, with Spin. If he sees me like this. I won't be allowed near Cook again." Jay groaned, holding his head and slowly standing himself.

"Okay..." drifts Emma. Where the hell do we go then?

Why her house ofcourse...

"Here." She gave him a bottle of water as they sat in her bathroom. He leaned on the tub and looked like hell.

"You didn't have to bring me here." Jay mumbled. Too much noise hurt.

Emma snickered, "It was that or a ditch."

"Ditch sounds nice right now." Jay admitted, "Ditch is outside, air is outside. Air is nice"

"You're an idiot." Emma confirmed, and she meant it. What the hell was he doing and what was he on and WHY was he doing this to himself?

He seemed perfectly fine to her.

Or maybe he just liked this.

Emma glared over to see Jay's eyes shut.

"Jay? Jay. Jay!" she shook him.

Jay opened his eyes and blinked before sitting up and looking at her and softened.

"Cassie really looked like you." He quietly admits.

Emma's heart sank.

"I get it..." Emma drifts, sitting closer to him, "Why your doing this. Trust me, I do. I would if I didn't have so many people watching me."

Emma wanted to scream, to throw herself off a building, anything... but so many expected her to crack, she couldn't, they'd love it too much.

Silence.

"They think I'm glass or something, ready to break." She sadly said.

"Your stronger than anything I've ever faced, Emma." Jay declared, watching her as he leaned on the tub as she stared forward at the wall.

"You don't think I'm broken?" Emma asked, cornering her eyes at him and he shook his head, swallowing hard.

"I think your frozen."

"I don't speak drug talk." She taunted.

Jay coughed lightly and explained, "Meaning your not broken or fixed, your in the middle. Your fighting, yet no one can tell which one is winning."

Emma let a tear drop but moved her head to the side so he couldn't see and quickly whipped it away.

"I wanna be fixed." Emma cried.

"I missed talking with you." Jay confessed.

"Yeah..." drifts Emma, not knowing what to say.

Jay looked at her closely, "You can still come to me whenever you need Emma." He said.

"Why? I don't trust you..."

"Fine, I get that." He breaths, "But... can we try to be friends?"

"Friends?" Emma snickered.

"Mhm." He nodded against the tub.

"We were never friends." Emma shot back.

He looked down at his hands and saw them shaking. "Just try." He pleaded.

"Fine." She muttered, watching his hands shake vuriously.

"Good. Friends it is."

"Friends."


	17. Total Eclipse of The Heart

"You're not friends!" Spinner yelled with a bitter laugh, "You'll never be friends!"

"Why were you at Emma's anyways?" Sean asked Jay who went over what happened.

"Just... really drunk." Jay lied as Alex walked into the apartment... without knocking.

"Ofcourse." Joked Spinner.

"Did you say Emma?" Alex asked Jay, "Why were you at her house?"

"patching things up."

"Their friends now" Sean said with his own smirk.

"Friends?" Alex challenged, raising an eyebrow. Even she didn't believe it and she was in her own little world which thought her and Jay were meant to be.

Jay snapped, "Yes, friends. And if any of my girl friends have a problem with my friends, she won't be my girl friend."

"As long as she keeps her hands off." Growled Alex.

"She's with someone..." Jay drifts with a far look in his eye, "She's with Peter..." he played with something in his hand, Emma's key.

Emma trusted him to lock up and stay at her house until he felt better. That had to be something right? She had to be slowly trusting him again.

Right?

"hey." Emma greeted Peter, back in school the next day.

"Hey," Peter smiled going to her and walking her to her locker.

As she undid her lock he eyed her hand said, "You haven't worn the ring I gave you yet."

"Right, sorry." Emma said slowly, gazing at her hand with nothing on it.

Peter sighed and stepped closer to her, "Emma, you still know you haven't asked Jay for the divorce right? You're still his wife." He said matter- of factly.

Emma closed her eyes. Another thing to add to the list.

Too much was going on, okay? Did he not get that?

"Oh right..."

Peter snickered, "How do you forget? Everyone watches you two and stares at you. Fuck, Jay still wears his!" he yelled.

Emma eyed Peter and asked, "He does?"... she never saw it. But going back to sitting with him last night, she did noticed his shakey hands have that gold ring on his finger still.

Wow. Peter was right.

"Do you care?" Peter asked, shaking his head at Emma, "After all he's done to you?"

"No. I..." Emma stopped talking when she saw the one and only coming over to them.

OH GOD. Not now.

"Hey." Jay said with a light cough and stood between the two, he turned to Emma and gave her back her key, "here's your key back." He missed Peter's glare, actually he saw it but didn't care, "Thanks...See you later." He told Emma who just numbly nodded, looking at Peter.

Please don't say anything...

"What the hell was that?" Peter snapped.

Shit.

Emma explained as fast as she could when he started walking away, "Peter, he was sick, so he stayed at my house. I left! That's why he had the key!"

Peter snapped over his shoulder, "Whatever. Call me when you finally find out he's only out to break your heart."

"Peter!" Emma exclaimed but he stalked off. She didn't notice an Alex behind her, who saw the scene and squinted her eyes until smiling and walking off.

Someone looked like they have an evil plan...


	18. HIGH FIDELITY PART 1

"I knew it." Jay said, sitting beside Emma on the Degrassi steps.

She was in class, but with a certain boy digging wholes in the back of her head didn't feel so comfortable.

God. Peter seemed so pissed.

Jay had just excused himself from his class when he saw Emma mooping outside.

"I pissed him off didn't I?" Jay asked.

Emma gave him a look and taunted, "Well that did look sort of bad Jay." Probably thought they slept together or something.

"I'm sorry." Jay said with a deep frown and nudged her a bit, "I'm a moron, remember?"

Emma looked down but cracked a smile along with a soft laugh to then catch a shine in her eye. The ring. Peter was right, Jay still wore it.

"Why do you still wear the ring?" Emma simply asked out loud.

What?

If he was really over her, he'd simply have a good reason... right?

Jay stared down at it and then away from her. She sat to his left and his head turned to the right as he opened his mouth and shut it.

He swallowed hard and declared, "Still care about you, Emma." He looked back at her.

"Nevermind." Emma said shaking her head and putting her hair nervously behind her ears, "I don't wanna talk about it."

Why'd you do that? You made me think you were over us... me.

"You asked..." drifted Jay, licking his lips, still looking away from her.

"Your with Alex! I'm with Peter."

"Does it look like I want to be with Alex?" Jay blurted out with a hysterical laugh and turned to her, "You not asking me for a divorce. It has to mean something."

Emma snickered and got up, "We're suppose to be friends! I just don't want to go through anymore shit right now. I need a friggin rest or something! Jesus I just popped our kid."

Jay stood up as well and stared down at her, "I know what I did was wrong, I know you can never forget that, but at least forgive me." He put a hand on the side of her face and closed his eyes, god he missed holding her. Emma closed her eyes as well and couldn't think of the last time she felt this, or in general just... felt.

"I already said I did." Emma fought back the tears.

"Then be with me." Jay breathed, opening his eyes and that's when she pulled away from him like fire.

Is that what she felt like being near him?

Like she was burning?

"No." Emma shook her head giving him an insane look. He broke her heart over and over, she wouldn't! ... she-she couldn't.

She wouldn't survive the next time he hurt her... she was barely living right now.

"No?" Jay asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Friends or nothing." Emma taunted.

Jay dropped his hands off her and lifted them in the air as if a cop was pointing a gun at him and said, "Fine."

Emma stood there confused and angry with him.

Do you know how many times I've cried over you? Emma thought. And that's it?

That's all?

Your not going to fight for me?

Emma looked away from Jay and walked off, "I got to go."

Meanwhile, a certain blonde boy was walking towards his car as he noticed a long haired raven standing at it, and smirking at him.

He knew about her, Alex. Jay's... thing? Got to admit though, a bit of a hot thing.

"She won't give you what you want huh?" Alex asked, tilting her head at Peter and snickered, "Trust me I know how it feels, I have the other broken child."

"Emma's over Jay." Peter confirmed.

Alex snickered at him, "Oh pretty boy, so much you don't know. These two have had something since they laid eyes on another."

"What's he have that I don't?" Peter suddenly snapped, throwing his bag at his own car.

Alex taunted him, "Her baby. Her heart. Her ring. Her gun shot-"

"I get it." Growled Peter, "Their madly inlove! Destined for another, meant to be. What the hell do you want?"

"Pay back." Alex declared, giving him a 'you in?' look.

Peter landed in the back seat of his car and Alex smirked falling on top of him, ripping at his belt.

"Are you sure? This isn't your first time right?" Peter asked Alex.

Alex laughed taking off her shirt, "I'm the one whose going to be teaching you tricks, son."


	19. HIGH FIDELITY PART 2

"Emma, he can't read your mind." Manny told Emma on the phone.

Emma wanted to throw the phone at the wall, she didn't want these dumb calls to Italy anymore! She wanted her best friend beside her.

"He use to. He use to just know!" Emma yelled into the phone and ugh'd loudly. She then felt it, the tears... oh god, he was making her feel again.

She was so use to being numb.

"What'd you want him to do?" Manny asked Emma.

Emma finally cracked and cried, "I wanted him to fight for me!" she shook violently from crying.

Manny didn't even speak, she knew her friend needed silence, time to breath.

Emma finally spoke, "God I'm so stupid." She whipped her tears.

"No, your not. Your in love." Manny corrected.

"As much as I want it, can't be with him... not right now." Emma insisted.

"If that's what you think is best than do what you think, Em." Manny confirmed.

"Ok. I got to go." Emma declared and said her goodbye's.

Emma's point of view:

Peter had arrived at my house, I certainly wasn't feeling any better. I was so angry with myself for thinking that things would work out with Jay. How had I been so naïve? It was so obvious that it was Alex that he cared about... or he would of never got back with her, and then fought for me.

I had half-expected Peter to say "I told you so" when I opened the door. He had this sly smile on his face but then he did seem concerned. "What's wrong, baby?" He pulled me into his arms.

I closed my eyes and hugged back, "I'm just stupid," I told him.

He didn't pry and followed me down the stairs to my bedroom. I fell back onto my bed, "You gotta think I'm beyond stupid. Pathetic. Obsessed."

He shook his head, "You're not stupid, Em. He takes adventage of you."

I sighed and shrugged, "I don't know."

He lied on his stomach beside me and looked into my eyes. He looked so concerned for me that I felt like I didn't deserve him—as even a friend. I turned away from him.

"Whatever it is, Em, it'll be okay," he said softly. I turned back to him, my eyes filled with tears.

I sighed again and wiped my tears away, "Then why can't I ever get over it? It's been a year."

"I know something that'll take your mind off your problems," he said.

"What's that?" I asked a second before his lips crashed against mine. I fought it at first, but I soon realized that it was maybe what I needed to get over Jay.

We never did exactly do it that night I thought we were, I couldn't, once again because of thoughts of Jay. I was in a green silk dress thing too, but nope, didn't follow through... even thought I saw Jay's retreated back from the window in the rain. Guess it just wasn't the time.

Within a matter of minutes, both of our shirts were off. Peter began tugging at my bra and even then I didn't care. But then I stopped.

I didn't care. I didn't care because I was what Jay kept saying, Frozen. I was in the middle of being broken and fixed.

I needed to be fixed.

This wasn't the right thing to do. I was just trying to feel again.

"Wait, stop." Emma said, trying to push Peter off, he unclasped the back and tossed it onto the floor as he rolled on top of me, pinning me beneath him.

He parted from me momentarily as he unzipped my pants.

"Peter…no," I told him. He didn't stop. "Peter, stop it!" I exclaimed louder, thinking that maybe he didn't hear me.

Again, no response. He had my jeans unzipped and unbuttoned and was pulling them down while I protested and fought against him.

"Damn it, Peter…get off of me!" I yelled, beyond scared, trying to kick at him and crawl up. This wasn't the Peter I dated. There was something scary in him, something that I didn't see before.

"Peter, please," I begged desperately. When an idea popped into my head, I went through with it before I had a chance to think about it. I raised my knee hard into his groin and he fell onto the bottom of the bed, giving me the chance to get up. I pulled my pants up, but he managed to grab my hair and pull me back to the bed.

He slapped me hard and I suddenly wasn't scared anymore. I kicked him in the groin, this time much harder and ran from the room. I grabbed my keys and jacket and took off before he had a chance to get me again.

NO ONE'S POINT OF VIEW:

Emma pulled up in front of Sean's house in about five minutes. She ran into the apartment, and pounded on the door.

It was hard without Manny, she had no one to turn to, and she didn't want to bother Liberty who was going through her own issues with JT.

The door swung open to Ellie, Emma opened her mouth and then closed it, to burst into tears.

"What happened?" She asked and glanced at Sean who just closed the door to Cook's bedroom and saw the scene to jog over.

His eyes widened as he noticed Emma's red cheek. "Who hit you?" Ellie asked.

Emma was about to explain until she heard voices. Jay and Spinner, down the hall in the kitchen, talking about who can chug the beer faster.

Ellie noticed her hesitance and grabbed her hand, bringing her to her and Sean's room.

"Who hit you?" Sean repeated Ellie's question, following them in.

Emma sighed and Ellie noticed then that she was only wearing a jacket, "Emma, did someone.. did someone..." she drifted off for Sean to notice then too.

"Peter…" Emma began,

"I'll kill him." Sean growled.

"He tried to…" Emma explained and after a few minutes, she told them everything.

"We have to tell Jay," Sean said immediately after she finished her story.

Emma shook her head vigorously, "We can't. He can't find out, Sean. I can't explain to him why I did it. I can't tell him that I did it to hurt him."

"Hurt who?" Jay said from the doorway. Emma cringed but didn't turn to face him. There would be far too many questions.

Ellie kept an eye on Emma and for her sake, lied for her, "Peter." She said to Jay, "He broke up with her."

Jay gave a look of disbelieve. No one with a right mind would break up with Emma.

Jay walked away, different thing, for her sake, plus, yes, he was out of his mind.

He wanted to break Peter in half.

"Oh." Was all Jay said and then disappeared. He leaned on the wall down the hallway and took a deep breath.

He needed to leave before he looked obvious. He paced the kitchen madly. How can Peter be so stupid? Why did he think she'd be okay with Peter Stone? Poin Dexter!

God, he wanted to punch a hole right through his smug boyish face.

"Dude, you alright?" Spinner noticed Jay shaking angrily.

Emma stood back with Ellie and Sean,, "I am absolutely crazy about him and he doesn't even care." She stared down.

Sean snickered, "He cares far more than you could ever know."

Emma shrugged, "I don't know how I could face him." She sighed and looked into the mirror, "How am I going to explain this bruise?" she pointed to her cheek, which was now a purplish color and swollen.

"You're not going to the police?" Ellie questioned incredulously.

"And say what? I was almost raped, but I started it all and was okay with everything until he unzipped my pants?" Emma replied.

"He hit you!" Ellie exclaimed.

"I nailed him a few times, too," Emma pointed out.

"In self-defense," Sean shot back and said. "Damn it, Em. Had you not 'nailed him,' you'd probably still be in your room with him."

"I don't want people to find out about this," she explained.

"It's not your fault!"

"I don't want people staring at me more than they already are!" Emma yelled, "The girl who _actually _dated Jay Hogart. The girl who got knocked up! The 17 year old whose married. Now the girl who got raped? NO!"

"Then what are you going to do?" Sean lightly asked, understanding her outburst.

"I'm going to go to a different school" Emma said shaking her head, "That way I'm clear of Peter... and him." She looked to where Jay had left.

"If he ever finds out... he'll fall apart." Sean told her.

"That's why you never tell him." Emma whispered. Ellie and Sean looked at another and back at Emma to slowly nod.

That next week, Emma told her mom calmly what had happened, she was devastated but agreed to switching schools, Emma had been through so much at Degrassi. But they did promise not to tell Snake, incase it gave the school problems.

Emma was cleaning out her locker that Friday while everyone was in their last period, Jay being a teacher and not having a last period, caught her cleaning out her locker with JT.

"Your leaving for good?" JT asked and Emma nodded, throwing her books in a bag and her lock from her degrassi locker in the garbage.

"We'll still hang out weekends." Emma promised and he nodded, slowly leaving.

He saw Jay and for once in their lifetime, gave him a sympthatic smile. Everyone knew these two were crazy about another... this wasn't going to be easy.

Jay was a bit in shock, hearing what he had just heard. He almost missed Emma walk off and out the doors of Degrassi.

He chased after her and called out, "Emma!"

Emma stopped in her tracks and closed her eyes tight, be strong, be strong.

"Yeah?" She opened her eyes and turned.

Jay looked around and then looked at her and declared lightly, "We're friends."

Silence.

Emma stared at him but then drifted, "Yeah?"

"Friends keep in touch." He said matter of factly.

Emma took a deep breath and looked like she was thinking and then nodded, "I'll call you."

Jay's eyes softened as he watched her slowly turn from him and walk to her mother's car.

She was gone, to Lakehurst.

Leaving him behind, at Degrassi...


End file.
